Mysterious Loki Character(s) Reveal Brings Star Wars Into The MCU
In a recent airing of The Chuck Eubanks Star Wars Scoop Bank, ex-gameshow host extraordinaire, Chuck Eubanks, made a shocking discovery in Marvel’s latest Disney+ series, Loki. You may be wondering what a Marvel show has to do with Star Wars. Much more than it probably should. Spoiler alert—proceed with caution.
SPOILERS!!
SPOILERS!!
SPOILERS!!
In the premiere episode of Loki, we discover that The God of Mischief is charged with the crime of being a variant of the sacred timeline. And at the very end of the episode, we are led to believe that a hooded figure who lights some of the TVA (Time Variance Authority) agents ablaze is a cloaked Loki, running rampant throughout history, killing off these keepers of timeline peace. Of course, this begs the question: “Is that hooded figure really Loki, or is it some other magic-wielding deviant?”
Wouldn’t you know it, the game-changing answer was right in front of us the whole time, lurking in the shadows of poor lighting.
You’ll notice at one point a TVA agent is Force pulled back into the flames to be engulfed with the rest of his team. This seems to be a move only a Jedi or Sith Lord could “pull” off. Thanks to Chuck’s Super Advanced Fancy Digital Enhancement Software by Biz Wax, Inc., the true identity of this bad dude has been revealed. And our worst fears are realized as the villain emerges from the shadows of his Jedi robe.
The perpetrator is not Loki, She-Loki, or any other cockamamie theory—no, it’s none other than nephew-slaughtering, TLJ Luke Skywalker dubbed Jake Skywalker by the fans. If that wasn’t enough to milk your thala-siren, when we enhanced the image further, it revealed bitter Luke holding his evil, froggy apprentice, Grogu. That little punk has gone full on fire-starter since his days with Daddy Din.
While Chuck ends his scoop bank with a “theory” about the future of the latest Marvel show, the crack investigative team at FSW has all but confirmed it with the use of the patented Fake-O-Meter™: Tom Hiddleston’s Loki character is being replaced with everyone’s favorite disgruntled farm boy-turned-hermit, Luke Skywalker, and Season Two will now be renamed Luki. Disney’s plan to merge all of their properties into one giant multiverse of megalomania is proceeding exactly as the Mouse has foreseen it.
So what do you think of this? Is it a scoop or rather a pile of poop? Let us know in the comments or hit us up on Twitter.
As always, stay tuned to FakingStarWars.net for all the finest Star Wars comedy, parody, and satire in the galaxy. Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and subscribe to our Newsletter and Podcasts for even more unbelievable news from a galaxy far, far away. Also, consider supporting us on Patreon… for as little as a buck a month, you can help us fake harder, better, faster, stronger.