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Obi-Wan Kenobi Unable to Purchase Custom Coca-Cola Bottles

DUNE SEA, TATOOINE—The Coca-Cola Company has made it possible for the galaxy’s denizens to order customized bottles of popular carbonated beverages with their names printed on them. However, one name in particular seems to have been banned from appearing on the cans, and the mysterious loner who goes by the name is finding the whole thing hard to swallow.


Jedi Knight-turned-creepy-old-wizard, Obi-Wan Kenobi, told FSW reporters that he tried to personalize his own Coca-Cola bottle on the HoloNet site but was repeatedly told his name was invalid.

“Is ‘Obi-Wan’ really so uncommon a name that [Coca-Cola] won’t allow it on one of their orb bottles? Perhaps I will change my name to something more common then, like Tony or Ben. Tony Kenobi sounds pretty good.”

-Obi-Wan “Tony” Kenobi

To get to the truth, FSW launched a full-scale investigation into whether this was an isolated incident or if other names were also met with an invalid message. As it turns out Gungan senator Jar Jar Binks’ name is also banned within Coca-Cola’s name algorithm bot.

“Meesa just wanted tah share a Coke with meesaself,” the Gungan told FSW via Discord chat. “But da holonet site is poodoo an said meesa name nota-proved! How wude of them.”

This was rather baffling so we reached out to the Coca-Cola Company to see what the discrepancy was for these names. Unfortunately we have yet to hear back from them at time of publishing.


Ironic. FakingStarWars is a valid name.

So will you be ordering your own customized Coke bottle? Is your name invalid according to their algorithm? Let us know in the comments or hit us up on Twitter!

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Link Voximilian

The artist known as Link Voximilian leads the parody department of FSW as the Head of Creative Content. He is an avid fan of Star Wars, Marvel, and Nintendo, a skilled musician, and an aspiring sci-fi/fantasy author. Aside from writing for the site, Link also dabbles in graphic design using MS Paint to create low-effort t-shirt designs. He currently resides in a double-wide, in the middle of nowhere on Corellia, building Lego sculptures, repairing guitars, and collecting way too many dark helmets and masks.

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