8 Problematic Star Wars Vehicles That Should Be Renamed
Earlier this week, Star Wars content creators were in a frenzy regarding a name change to Boba Fett’s spaceship. The iconic ship previously known as Slave 1 would now go by “Boba Fett’s Starship,” at least on an upcoming LEGO set. This being 2021 though, the anecdote blew up and launched dozens of stories (at least two from FSW!) and videos detailing the latest salvo in the ongoing culture war among fans of wizard movies.
According to a LEGO insider, the actual name change was requested by Disney because the word “Slave” is problematic in current year. (The number 1 is fine. For now.) The entire debacle made us take a long, hard look at Star Wars vehicle names. We regret to inform you that there are several more that should be replaced.
Without further ado, here are 8 Problematic Star Wars Vehicles That Should Be Renamed.
CONTENT WARNING: THE FOLLOWING SHIP NAMES MAY TRIGGER MENTAL ANGUISH. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.
1. The Death Star
Both Death Stars along with Starkiller Base are entirely too focused on the words ‘death’ and ‘killing.’ Given that Star Wars movies are primarily marketed to children, the names for these vehicles are pushing the envelope. According to FSW therapist/intern Joey Mendez, ‘death’ and ‘killing’ should be avoided because they promote a culture of violence to an audience too young to process what the words even mean. “The more kids hear those words, the less empathy they have when they experience violence or the loss of life in the real world. Plus, those names are a bit on the nose.”
2. Speeder bike
Sadly, 6 out of 10 children under the age of 21 still do not know how to ride a bicycle. Referring to Speeder bikes in Star Wars as any variety of “bike” sets up false expectations for those less fortunate enough to know what the terrestrial experience actually is. “We don’t want little Timmy to think riding a bike will go 300 mph, when in reality, even a mountain bike isn’t going more than 6 mph through the forest of Endor. It’s just about managing expectations,” said Mendez.
3. Millennium Falcon
14% of people with eyepatches were involved in an unprovoked falcon attack. This alone should be enough to rename the Falcon part of the name for Han Solo’s classic ship. However, there are issues with the first name. “From a branding point of view, nearly 65% of Gen Z moviegoers think the ship is called the Millennial Falcon, and therefore, totes not for them. So I’d recco a new name, something text and TikTok friendly, maybe Malcon Z,” said FSW’s insurance rep and marketing expert Sherilou Yi.
4. TIE-fighter
“The word TIE is hurtful to the millions of people who grew up without a father. It brings to mind the most popular gift on Father’s Day, and normalizes child abandonment,” said Yi, who grew up with her father but doesn’t like him very much, no thanks to the TIE-fighter.
5. Every Star Destroyer Ever
With names like Accuser, Agonizer, Death’s Head, Punisher, and Tyrant, Star Destroyers are among the most problematically named ships in all of Star Wars. Forget for a second the fact that they bring on night terrors in 100% of people with isoscelesphobia (fear of triangles), star destroyers are phallic symbols that adhere to an overtly patriarchal design system.
6. N-1 Starfighter
According to FSW language consultant, Ace Rockhard, the N brings to mind the N word in racists, and that’s obviously a no-no. “There’s really no need for the N-1 variant name for the Naboo Starfighter, other than to appease white supremacists, and just like with Slave 1, implicate the number one,” said Rockhard.
7. Rey’s Speeder
For a film meant to inspire young girls to chase their dreams, and ultimately, become Star Wars consumers, The Force Awakens introduced a speeder whose name failed an entire generation. “Rey’s Speeder” is lazy and uninspired writing. Even worse, it sends a harmful message. “Rey’s Speeder tells girls it’s okay to be a basic Becky and not even try to do something interesting on your vanity license plate when you can drive,” said Mom Mothma.
8. Gungan Bongo Submarine
Bongo is offensive on many levels. First of all, it reinforces negative stereotypes regarding the “noble savage” trope similar to everything wrong with the treatment of Ewoks. Second, it sounds like “bong,” which might make potheads smile, but does a disservice to Gungan culture, which doesn’t even have a recreational drug scene.
*If we’ve missed any problematic ship names in Star Wars, please let us know in the comments.
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