What If Lucasfilm Made a ‘Star Wars: What If…?’ Series?

With the positive buzz around Marvel Studios’ What If…? trailer, Disney+ has decided to do the same with Star Wars. Titled Star Wars What the Force? , the series about hypothetical situations in the Star Wars galaxy is set to go into production next month. Insider sources have sent an exclusive list to Faking Star Wars containing the titles of each episode with each revolving around a Skywalker Saga film.

Episode I: What If Anakin Skywalker lied about his pod racing ability?

In the inaugural episode of What the Force?, we venture into the world between worlds to see a universe where Anakin Skywalker was boastful without the skills to back up his claims. Little Annie lied about knowing how to podrace and bluffs his way all the way to the Boonta Eve Classic where he finally breaks down and tells the truth to Qui-Gon that he doesn’t know how to pilot a pod. This results in Qui-Gon just stealing the parts he needs to repair the Queen’s vessel and leaving the lying unpaid employee on Tatooine with his mom.

Episode II: What If Kaminoans could only clone sheep?

In real world cloning fashion, the cloners on Kamino can only clone animals. In this alternate take on Attack of the Clones, Obi-Wan discovers the clone army is made up of sheep using the genetic template of the first ever cloned mammal, Dolly the sheep. Of course this does not impress Obi-Wan and at the end of the episode the Droids turn the Grand Army of the Republic into sweaters. It was a baaaaad situation. (Sorry not sorry)

Episode III: What If Palpatine executed Order 69?

Nice. But get your mind out of the gutter — it’s not what it sounds like. Instead of commands to blast the Jedi, Order 69 mandates the clones to enjoy pizza together with their Force sensitive buds. Yes, pizza. The war is over, the droids are destroyed, and the Separatist leaders are arrested, so Supreme Chancellor Palpatine instructs the clone troopers to go buy the Jedi some pizza and they all live happily ever after. Think the shawarma scene from Avengers but with the clones and Jedi eating some great Naboo pizza… since Naboo is space Italy.

Episode IV: What If Luke Skywalker had gone to Tosche Station?

So Luke finally made it to Tosche Station to “waste time with his friends” but as a result he missed out on buying C-3PO and R2-D2 from the jawas. Sure, Luke gets grounded for blowing off work for the umpteenth time but he was able to pick up some sweet rims and a lift it for his landspeeder. What came of the droids you ask? They end up being bought by Marshal Cobb Vanth out in Mos Pelgo, which he promptly turns into badass armor since he had not yet acquired Boba Fett’s legendary beskar. When the Imperials show up looking for them, they see Vanth’s armor, tell him he looked cool, then leave.

Episode V: What If Yoda’s rootleaf stew gave Luke food poisoning?

Let’s take a trip to the swamps of Dagobah. Sure, the humidity is uncomfortable and the wildlife may swallow your astromech whole, but at least the local cuisine is to die for… literally. When Luke visits Yoda’s hut and the former Jedi turned wily hermit offers him some rootleaf stew, it gives Luke a tummy ache. While it begins as a mild inconvenience, having to go number two in an outhouse is a common thing for a guy who grew up on a farm, it soon turns deadly. The stew is fine for a member of Yoda’s species, but for a human, not so much. After two whole days of pain, Luke dies of food poisoning.

Episode VI: What If Jabba the Hutt made Leia a paid employee instead of a slave?

In this alternate universe, when Leia gets caught trying to free Han Solo from carbonite, Jabba forces the princess into servitude but not as a slave, but rather as a paid employee. That’s right, Leia will now get a paycheck to lay around in a sexy outfit. It’s basically the Galaxy Far, Far Away version of OnlyFans! Leia will even have to pay Tatooine taxes for her wages and even file tax return complete with a W-2. Additionally, Boba Fett runs a TurboTax kiosk within Jabba’s palace and files the return for every member of Jabba’s court, for a fee of course.

Episode VII: What If Rey sold BB-8?

We know how Rey meets BB-8, but what if she got tired of all his talk about his secret mission with the Resistance? Rey will sell BB-8 to the boisterous Unkar Plutt but not just for some crappy space food, instead her Force persuasion powers manifest much earlier in her journey. Rey manages to Jedi Mind Trick the junk dealer into selling her the Millennium Falcon in exchange for the spunky round droid. Once on board the Falcon, Rey takes off and ends up meeting with Han Solo and Chewbacca who bring her on as a member of their crew. Since she doesn’t have any ties to the Resistance, there’s no reason for Han to go to Takodana or back to Leia which results in the smarmy smuggler not being unceremoniously dropped down a bottomless hole by his nerf herder son.

Episode VIII: What If Luke Skywalker went crazy and acted like Yoda while in exile?

When Rey arrives on Ahch-To and finds the older Luke Skywalker staring off a cliffside we were all in awe of the Jedi Master’s majesty. But instead of taking his old saber and tossing it aside like a piece of poodoo, Skywalker begins talking in backwards speak to the young scavenger. She follows him to his little hut and he prepares a meal for her of rootleaf stew, made with Thala-siren milk. Rey is lactose intolerant it seems and upon eating the stew, gets very sick and… dies. HOW’S THAT FOR EXPECTATIONS BEING SUBVERTED, RIAN JOHNSON??

Episode IX: What If General Pryde was given glorious purpose?

When the legendary Richard E. Grant was announced as joining the cast of The Rise of Skywalker, fan speculation went wild as to who he would be playing. Theories varied from him portraying Grand Admiral Thrawn to simply voicing a droid. Well in this version, Allegiant General Pryde actually has a purpose, a glorious one at that. It will be revealed in this version of events that Pryde is actually the Sith Lord Darth Plagueis, who faked his death at the hands of his former apprentice Sheev Palpatine AKA Darth Sidious, by using the Force to make an illusion and disguise himself as trash to go down the garbage chute of Palpatine’s apartment. The Sith Lord hid on a far away planet and lived out most of his days in solitude plotting and enjoying himself until the proper moment to reveal himself. He would eventually join the First Order and climb the ranks to being Supreme Leader Kylo Ren’s second-in-command and true teacher and kill all the Palpatine clones and Snokes in jars.

What “What If” scenarios would you like to see? Let us know in the comments below or hit us up on Twitter. Special thanks to Link Voximilian for elaborating on these ideas!

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