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Cannes Film Festival Gets Historic 30-Minute Standing Boo From Star Wars Fan

TRENTON, NJ—Hollywood insiders may still be clapping for films that debuted at this year’s Cannes Film Festival, but one armchair critic booed her way into the record books via social media. 33-year-old Shelby Warde gave a 30-minute standing boo during an Instagram Live session that featured her reacting to a YouTube stream from the film festival. 


Why would anyone do such a thing? Star Wars.

Earlier in the month, Warde became triggered as more and more blogs reported various standing ovations for films that “don’t hold a candle to Star Wars.” According to the amateur pin trader, the Cannes Film Festival is “one big circle jerk” that does not deserve George Lucas or the universe he created. In fact, Warde would be perfectly happy if Disney never screened another Star Wars film at Cannes ever again. 

“Matt Damon gets a 5-minute standing ovation for Stillwater!? Some anime movie gets a 14-minute ovation? This is absolute clown world,” said Warde. Her anger reached a boiling point when a list of the films that have garnered the longest standing ovations in Cannes history went viral. Absent from the list were Episode II: Attack of the Clones, Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, and Solo: A Star Wars Story, each of which premiered at the film festival.


“You’re telling me not one person got on their feet for Star Wars. Friggin’ preposterous. Even the haters would have stood up to at least throw popcorn at the screen when Attack of the Clones ended. I find it all hard to swallow,” said Warde.

That was the final straw. Warde immediately got up from her gaming chair and began training to stand in place for more than 30 minutes at a time. 

“Once I got my body into booing shape, I started riffing a bunch of variations on Boo to keep it fun and interesting for my followers,” said Warde, who said at least 12 people caught her live stream. Ironically enough, they all cheered her on. “It was pretty awesome. I may have to beat my booing record next year if Cannes continues to insult Star Wars by standing for new trash movies.”

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Willybobo

Hailing from the fictional planet of Yarvin IV, which is populated by bumblebee people, is Willybobo. As the Editor-in-chief of FSW, he strives to make the Star Wars fan community a better place for nerds and geeks everywhere. Willybobo was a very active member of the Cantina Star Wars fan forum so you may recognize him from there. He lives with an urn carrying the ashes of his former master, and spends all day asking the mighty Sheev for advice.

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