Magic Castle Inn Reveals Star Wars Motel Experience
HIGHWAY 192, FL—Hardcore nerds may be asking themselves if $6,000 for a 2-night stay at a Star Wars-themed hotel is the only way to fully immerse themselves in a galaxy far, far away. To which drunk Yoda would say, “No, there is another,” before burning your sacred texts.
Jokes aside, there’s now a much more affordable alternative to living out your fanboy/fangirl dreams. Magic Castle Inn and Suites has announced a Star Wars Motel Experience at a fraction of the cost of Disney’s Galactic Starcruiser Resort. Amazingly, for only $45 a night, visitors can experience a loosely structured live action role-playing experience with very few real world intrusions from safety or security personnel.
“We’ve designed Galactic Underworld 1313: Belly Of The Beast to give the 99% a taste of Star Wars at a much more reasonable price,” said Bobby, manager of Magic Castle and chief “dreamscaper.” According to him, Galactic Underworld will allow guests to choose their side from three factions: The Rebels, The Empire, and The Bounty Hunters.
“Whatever side you pick determines how the rest of your stay plays out. You might lead an army of six-year-old Ewoks in a rebellion against their parents and childhood services. You could go on a reconnaissance mission to explore and torch a Rebel base in an abandoned condo. Hell, you could use Jedi Mind Tricks to sell counterfeit passes to Starcruiser Resort. It’s really open-ended,” said Bobby, who doubles as Vaneé, Darth Vader’s manservant, during the Underworld experience.
In addition to scripted events, Bobby promises the experience will be filled with exciting impromptu moments, including run-ins with death stick dealers and female Twi’lek and Togruta courtesans. There seems to be an all-hands-on-deck policy for residents and staff at the motel. We’re told stray dogs will portray Wookiees, alley cats will cosplay as Ewoks, and degenerates will be incentivized to be extra scummy to help establish a seedy underworld vibe.
Magic Castle hopes their Star Wars experience steals some thunder from the much pricier one down the road. “Not for nothing, but we’ve got this mini-Death Star experience where everyone gets a laser pointer and we climb up on the roof and try to distract Rebel pilots giving aerial tours of Disneyworld. Come on, how the f*$% can they compete with that?!”
Thanks for the exclusive, Bobby!
So, which Star Wars experience sounds better to you: Disney’s Galactic Starcruiser Resort or Magic Castle’s Galactic Underworld 1313: Belly Of The Beast? Let us know in the comments or in social.
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