Kylo Ren Burns Down Jedi Temple Challenge, Show Canceled
A Jedi temple masquerading as a game show was destroyed last night by Kylo Ren and his Knights of Ren. The band of marauders burned multiple “sets” to the ground, including an obstacle course and the bridge of the Jedi Starcruiser Athylia. In addition to structural damages, the blaze also destroyed a closet full of Padawan robes along with replica lightsaber parts and a dozen plastic holocrons.
“Kylo torched everything. It’s like Luke’s Jedi Academy all over again. It pains me to say it but we’re going to have to cancel Jedi Temple Challenge,” said Michael Paull, President of Disney+.
Given the losses sustained, there are currently no plans to rebuild the temple or create a new game show to hide the rebuilding of the Jedi order.
“In hindsight, we shouldn’t have picked such an obvious name. It’s like saying HEY KYLO WE’RE A JEDI ACADEMY, COME BURN US DOWN,” said Rey Skywalker. “Kylo saw right through our cover. We should have gone with something like My Hooded Robe Hero Academia. I’m just glad Jedi Master Kelleran Beq was not on set when the monsters attacked.”
This latest attack places Kylo and his Knights of Ren on the #1 spot of the New Republic’s Most Wanted list. An intergalactic APB remains in effect. Meanwhile, teams of winning contestants, who were the most promising Padawans, have been placed in hiding.
UPDATE: an independent investigation has been launched by the production’s insurance agency.
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