J.J. Abrams Files For Creative Bankruptcy
SANTA MONICA, CA—Writer-director-producer J.J. Abrams has filed for creative bankruptcy due to a severe bout of writer’s block. In Chapter 7 filings recorded this morning, Abrams claims to owe 12 reboots, 9 remakes, 7 revivals, and 4 spiritual successors to WarnerMedia.
“I’m a few billion in the hole right now, and barring some sort of miracle, there’s just no way I can write myself out of this one,” said Abrams during lunch at his Rustic Canyon estate.
The filmmaker blames his prolonged creative dry spell on Covid-19, his wife, and the lack of creativity in the industry as a whole.
“Where am I supposed to draw inspiration from? I’ve been stuck at home and Katie just goes on and on about the pillows and the drapes. When I finally could hear myself think…it dawned on me, everything’s been redone already. Mostly by me. So now what?! Why couldn’t Spielberg and Lucas have created a few more franchises. I don’t get it. The American New Wave is overrated. I wouldn’t be in this bind if it weren’t for them,” said the 55-year-old triple threat.
Even Abrams’ war chest of rehashed ideas that lack resolution, the much heralded Mystery Box, is of no help these days.
“My kids raided it months ago. I’ve got nothing to go on now except my own imagination. Has anyone ever made a movie about a creatively bankrupt writer? Maybe I can remake that once this is all over.”
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