A Very Bad Episode IX Leak
As the days grow closer and closer to the release of The Rise of Skywalker, the crazier the leaks get. After the break, we will look at a leak sent to us from Carl S. Baad, a supposed member of the re-shoots crew that just wrapped up. Possible spoilers ahead!
SPOILERS!!
SPOILERS!!
SPOILERS!!
The Empire was rebuilding on the edge of the galaxy, where rules of physics are wonky at best; it’s hard to navigate there. Kylo wants to get there because the Knights of Ren report a threat in that area.
Rey learns this through long distance telepathy. There’s a race to who will get there first, Rey just wants to stop Kylo from fulfilling his evil plan.
C-3PO’s red arm starts drawing coordinates on its own from ancient data, locked off by unknown programming. Zorri unlocks this by data by transferring C-3PO’s memory into R2-D2’s data banks; their personalities are merged.
An ancient exposition spewing droid takes over C-3PO’s body (voiced by Matt Smith) and leads the heroes to the final confrontation where they eventually join forces with Kylo to fight the Sith lead by Darth Bane who arrives via time travel.
What do you think of this leak? We think it sucks and is very bad. You should not believe this leak but it’s our duty to report on them as required by court order. Tune into the next episode of FSW Radio when Storm Duper will run this leak through the Fake-O-Meter™ to determine its validity.
As always, stay tuned to FakingStarWars.net for all the finest Star Wars comedy, parody, and satire in the galaxy. Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and subscribe to our Newsletter and Podcasts for even more unbelievable news from a galaxy far, far away. Also, consider supporting us on Patreon… for as little as a buck a month, you can help us fake harder, better, faster, stronger.
-Link “Vox” Voximilian
