Top 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Sheev Palpatine

With the return of the glorious Emperor Sheev Palpatine in The Rise of Skywalker, people are beginning to wonder about the thought-dead Sith Lord. Rather than looking at a 100-page entry on Wookieepedia, our interns and Russian trolls have compiled the Top Ten most interesting things about Palpatine you probably don’t already know.

10: His Middle Name is Albert

His first name was only recently revealed in James Luceno’s Tarkin novel back in 2014, but Palpatine’s middle name was actually stated in the first draft of Attack of the Clones. During a cut scene set in Palpatine’s office, his trusted adviser Mas Amedda refers to Palpatine as ‘Albert’ to which he replies asking Mas to not use his middle name around the Jedi. FUN FACT!

9: His First Job Was a Starbucks Barista

Ol’ Palps can make a mean Grande Pumpkin Spice Frappuccino due to the fact he worked at Starbucks from age 16 to 19. He was even promoted to shift manager before he resigned to attend Sith college under Darth Plagueis a year after he graduated high school.

8: Enjoys Fishing

One of Sheev’s fondest memories was sitting on the banks of the river with his grandfather catching Gooberfish. Once, he even caught a BIG GOOBERFISH! The young Sith Lord was able to achieve this feat by using the Force of course, before he even knew he had a high Midi-chlorian count. IMPRESSIVE!

7: Arrested for a DUI at 15

While trying to show off with his other edgy 15-year-old friends during the Homecoming football game, little Sheev shotgunned two beers he stole from his dad’s fridge. Palps and his pals got pulled over for going 40 in a 35 MPH zone which led to him failing a breathalyzer test. He spent a night in jail before his dad bailed him out the next morning.

6: He’s Been Sober Since 15

Due to his night in jail, Palpatine went on to live an alcohol-free life ever since. He’s also Straight Edge, so no drugs or death sticks either! Good for you, Sheev!

5: His Favorite Flower is the Black Dahlia

And not for the reasons you expect! Sure Palpatine went on to murder several women like the Black Dahlia Killer but this was his favorite flower before he ever heard about those grisly murders. Palpatine loves them because his grandmother grew them in her garden when he was a child. How cute!

4: Holds the Record for Most Eggs Eaten in a Single Minute

Blowing Earth-record-holder Ashrita Furman out of the water, is none other than Sheev Palpatine. While Furman peeled and ate 6 boiled eggs in a single minute, Palpatine was able to peel and eat 10! Take that Guinness!

3: He Hates Ska

No one quite knows why, but Sheev hates Ska. This was learned when Darth Maul tried to show Sidious his Ska CD collection he compiled from all the village pillaging he did after completing tasks given to him by his Master. Maul threw on some Less Than Jake one day and Palpatine flung Sith lightning at Maul’s stereo. Maybe he just hates Less Than Jake, we will never know.

2: He Wore Braces From Age 9 to 12

This is why his social development was so stunted, because of all the taunting he received in Naboo private school. ‘Sterling Sheev Mouth’ was a particularly cruel name given to him by bullies which in turn made Sheev just as cruel. Don’t worry, the first people Sheev used Sith lightning on was these bullies.

1: He Still Uses MySpace

Yeah that’s right, the head honcho of the Galactic Empire still updates his MySpace page he started back in 2004. We tried to read his private posts but he declined our friend request. We will never know what he is saying to his Top 8 friends.

Did we miss anything? Are there any other Sheev facts we don’t know? Let us know in the comments or hit us up on Twitter!

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–Link “Vox” Voximilian