Incel Smitten By Gender Swapped Luke Skywalker
RICHLANDS, VA — “Lucy Skywalker” is having a moment, and it could not have come at a better time. The internet has fallen madly in love with the gender-swapped version of Mark Hamill’s character from the original Star Wars films. In fact, some of the harshest critics of progressive films have even had a change of heart.
As soon as 23-year-old 4chan moderator Jeff Faraday saw the images of Mark Hamill wearing makeup, he knew Lucy was the one, and that everything he thought he knew about the world was completely wrong.
“This whole thing is new to me. I’m used to hating on these kinds of shoe-horned publicity stunts. But Lucy, man, the way she looks at me. It’s like she gets me,” said Faraday.
The former Star Wars gatekeeper, who self-identifies as incel, immediately resigned from his position within “The Fandom Menace.”
“I was staring at Lucy for days on end. I could barely bully anyone online. I was a mess. I even tried using FaceApp to create gender-swapped versions of other Star Wars characters — even the men from Star Trek — but nothing came close to Lucy. I’d do anything to get a poster, a body pillow, or a VR experience with her. Mom is already on board.”
Faraday plans on launching a petition to remake the original Star Wars as a gender-swapped version produced by Kathleen Kennedy.
“Kathy was right the whole time. I just needed the strength and beauty of Mark Hamill as a woman to show me the error of my ways. I t’s weird… I used to hate women… but now I only hate myself for loving Luce.”
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