Grand Admiral Thrawn Declares “Blue Boy Summer”
OUTER RIM—Talk of a white boy summer, hot girl summer, or baby bump summer has been silenced this morning by Grand Admiral Thrawn, who revealed an opposing strategy for the warm weather season of 9 ABY.
“I just got this feeling that this summer is about to be a Blue boy summer,” said the Chiss mastermind during a press conference held aboard his Star Destroyer. “I’m not talking about, like, Pantorans or Chagrians, you know, evil-type Blue. I’m talking about me, Max Rebo, Watto -type Blue boy summer . . . I believe the galaxy can vibe with that, and once we win their hearts and minds, allegiance is all but secured,” added Thrawn.
The tactical genius laid out a roadmap of HoloNet updates which will include strategies to ensure an effective Blue boy summer. Thrawn plans to address critical “BBS” topics like “summer scarves,” “taking girls on home planet dates,” and “Imperial navy glow ups.”
Thrawn also announced a full line of Blue boy summer merch, along with Red queen summer gear, because “you can’t be a real Blue king without a Red queen.” The press conference ended with the legendary Chiss urging people to “tag a REAL Blue king” in their HoloNet posts.
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