110% Accurate TFA Full Trailer Description
My cousin who is a mod on 2chan but has sources on 4chan and 8chan whose wife runs 12chan overheard this vague but plausible description of the full length trailer to Star Wars: The Force Awakens set to release some time soon.
“I’ve waited a long time for this…”
You will see:
Han
Chewie
Leia
Rey kicking ass
Finn with Lightsaber
Kylo Ren no mask holding Vader’s helmet
Hux yelling at Phasma
A BUNCH of red and purple lightsaber wielding phantom looking motherfuckers laying waste to a temple
Artoo
Threepio
Some blue droid
Maz Kanata examining the lightsaber
Poe being beat to shit by Phasma
An aerial battle between xwings and tie fighters over that lake they keep showing
Rey inside a Star Destroyer
BB8 getting kicked
Max Von Sydow AND HE’S GOT A LINE “That’s a lightsaber. The weapon of a Jedi Knight.”
You WILL NOT SEE
Snoke
Luke
YOU WILL HEAR
Rey
Finn
Poe
Han
Chewie
Kylo
Phasma
Luke
Snoke
Final shot before the title card is Kylo’s red blade clashing with Finn’s blue in the snowy forest.
