Star Wars The Force Awakens Spoiler! The Kylo Ren/Rose Connection?
One of the necessary themes of a Star Wars trilogy is a love story. We have reason to believe this trilogy will not only feature multiple descendants of the Original trilogy cast, but it will also feature a timeless love story as well. See who’s all gaga for each other after the jump!
Lupita Nyong’o is said to be playing Rose, the blue alien bartender who had some past history with a force dealing crew back in the day. FSW is here to set the record straight on her backstory once and for all. Rose spent her early 20’s working at Golden Rod’s Gym, a Force user geared fitness center on Tatooine. It was there she met a young man by the name of Kylo Ren and it was love at first bicep curl. She spent her days marveling at the chiseled physique of Kylo and it wasn’t long before they were Spacebook official.
Unfortunately, once Kylo had the girl of his dreams his devotion to the gym and his eating habits went down the drain. He put on 110 pounds after consuming nothing but Blue milk and Tosche burgers leaving him in a state of extreme obesity. Rose could not believe the eating and TV binge watching machine Kylo had become. He was breaking her heart and she let him know one fateful night.
There is a scene in the coded documents we have obtained titled “The Kiss of fatness”. We believe we have matched up a piece of concept art we received with the scene and it’s a doozy!
Poor Kylo fell to the Darkside not long after these events and hit his newly constructed private Sith gym harder than a womprat getting picked off at Beggar’s Canyon! His revenge body will no doubt be on display in The Force Awakens!
Get ready Star Wars fans! Kylo wants to pump…. You up!!!
