Shocker! George Lucas Masterminds Campaign to Sabotage Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
We’ve got the skinny on a conspiracy that’s sure to rock Star Wars fandom to its very core. Hold onto your twin sun hats, it’s about to get real heated up in here….
(Warning: there is no turning back… and you may hate us more than you already do for reporting this, but our journalistic integrity requires we divulge all major scoops to our readers, because you have every right to know and should be allowed to judge the merits of said report for yourself.)
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One of our most trusted sources named Bothanist has caught wind of a conspiracy that would make Darth Sidious green with envy. Apparently, the man behind many of the biggest leaks involving The Force Awakens is none other than George Lucas himself.
Our source claims it all started when JJ Abrams engaged in a bit of prequel shaming in front of Lucas as a writer’s meeting early on in production. Uncle George played it cool at the time, but the wheels were already in motion for revenge.
Lucas reached out to several close friends and prequel performers, including Rick McCallum, Ahmed Best, Billy Dee Williams, David Prowse, and Jake Lloyd to join him on a meticulously planned smear campaign directed at JJ Abrams.
Bothanist is not exactly sure of the specifics or who posted what when, but this ragtag group of “Star Wars Expendables” has been leaking production artwork, spoiling plot points, and generally making life a living hell for JJ and the Mouse House.
We have solid intel that Lucas is also getting his hands dirty, posing as various rumormills such as SpoilerMan and a few others. The director even used the recent animated film, Strange Magic, as a smokescreen.
Other details our source has uncovered:
Jake Lloyd is Lucas’ go-to for spreading disinformation on 4chan as the actor is a big fan of meme image posting.
Billy Dee Williams and David Prowse were miffed at their exclusion from the sequel trilogy, and approached Lucas to join his team of ST destroyers.
Actor Denis Lawson aka Wedge Antilles, upset at how his nephew, Ewan McGregor was treated post-prequels is also involved. Lawson declined being part of the sequel trilogy, as he is a Lucas man through and through. The actor is the operation’s wingman, serving to fly drones over shooting locations, which recently scored the group a new set of photos to leak.
Has your jaw hit the floor yet? Don’t say we didn’t warn you. For our part, we believe Lucas may be trying to ensure the sequels bomb harder than the prequels. Should he succeed in sabotaging the new Star Wars films, his prequels would be redeemed, and fans would cry for Lucas to return.
That is when, we think, George Lucas will swoop in like Han Solo at the end of Episode IV and save the day, by purchasing the rights to his empire back from Disney. We imagine Lucas would then proceed to film his version of the sequels to complete the saga.
If this ever comes to pass, expect his “Star Wars Expendables” to surely get prominent roles in these films.
What do you think of George Lucas’ conspiracy to blow the Mystery Box wide open and leave egg on JJ’s face? Tell us in the comments or tweet us!
More as this develops.
