Top 10 Reasons Lando Is Not In The Force Awakens
Everyone is wondering why the heck Lando isn’t in The Force Awakens. Well we have compiled 10 reasons why this space pimp is absent in the upcoming Star Wars installment.
Busy doing his hair. Priorities.
Still in hiding after the Lobot-led coup and subsequent rise of the robots.
Refused Disney’s mandate to tone down the sexy.
He’s been taping several Maury I AM NOT THE FATHER episodes.
Being President Barack Obama’s Personal Stylist and Joint Chiefs of Pimp Chairman pays better.
Cloudy with a Chance of Still in Prison Because of Sexual Harassment.
After 30 years of having Lando’s back, his cape refused the offer, despite pleading by the scoundrel.
Would not break the Rule of One Cool Black Guy Per Star Wars Trilogy.
Laying low after botched assassinations of Harrison Ford and Suge Knight.
Kraft services balked at the 8 meals a day stipulation in his contract.
