Leaked The Force Awakens Outline is a Fake!

For many of the spoiler-hungry fans the recently leaked outline represents a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. Well I have some bad news for you… it’s a FAKE! That’s right, I said, “Fake!” After the jump we will dive into the outline and point out every false entry on the list. You can’t out-fake the fakers, JJ!

The website Millenniumfalcon.com has provided a “complete” shooting schedule outline for Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Many fans and media outlets have been duped by this “leak” as many entries of the schedule are completely fabricated. So we felt it was our duty to shed light on the things that don’t add up to the truth. Below is our exhaustive debunking of the shooting schedule:

EXT NIGHT – 01 – SPACE – SAVANNAH • A Sword tumbles through space, crashes toward ground

EXT DAY – 02 – SAVANNAH • Sword lands – dawn into day – a strange hand appears

We know these lines to be false. The space traveling lightsaber has been debunked.

EXT NIGHT – 19 – THE VILLAGE – LOR’S HOVEL • Kylo Ren out of patience, says goodbye to the Lor San Tekka

Lor San Tekka is killed, not simply saying, “Goodbye.” to Kylo and friends. We also know Phasma is present in this scene.

EXT NIGHT – 20 – RISE NEAR VILLAGE – X-WING • Poe sees sudden farewell, feeds BB-8 candy. Go separate ways

False because BB-8 is a droid and therefore cannot eat candy. Plus, there is a sensitivity clause in the Lucas/Disney contract forbidding the use of sugary sweet codenames in production materials out of respect for Lucas’ diabetes.

INT NIGHT – 55 – STAR DESTROYER – BALCONY OVER FRONT DOOR • Windows blow in on the Balcony

We know this to be false, it is Chewbacca who blows out the window with a thermal detonator as seen in the trailer.

INT DAY – 83 – MILLENNIUM FALCON – TURRET • Finn gets a shock as the seat moves of it’s own free will

Seat moves at it’s own freewill? It appears EDI from Mass Effect is in control of the Millennium Falcon. Obviously this line is untrue.

INT DAY – 96 – MILLENNIUM FALCON – TURRET • Finn accepts the praise graciously

We know that Finn is a modest man and wouldn’t accept praise graciously!

EXT DAY – 192 – SAVANNAH • Reprise Hand takes sword, we reveal Naka

EXT NIGHT – 193 – SAVANNAH – PEASANT’S HOVEL • Peasant is using the sword as a firestarter

EXT DAY – 194 – SAVANNAH – PEASANT’S HOVEL • Local trader buys sword off of Naka

EXT NIGHT – 195 – SAVANNAH • Local trader already has sold the sword

This scene is fake and never takes place as a lightsaber does not tumble down from space.

EXT DAY – 198 – ACADEMY • Leia and Han Solo hand over Young Kylo Ren to his Uncle for training

EXT DAWN – 200 – ACADEMY • Young Kylo Ren being trained by his Uncle

INT NIGHT – 202 – ACADEMY • Bodies left behind – Young Kylo Ren is gone

There was never a “young Kylo Ren” cast for this film. FAKE!

EXT DUSK – 204 – ACADEMY • R2-D2 upset as his master leaves

This scene is not at an academy and his master does not leave him.

EXT NIGHT – 209 – CASTLE • Kylo Ren and his Knights at campfire. Maz Kanata steals sword

INT DAY – 210 – CASTLE STAIRCASE • Walking down stairs, Maz Kanata reveals she stole it.

EXT NIGHT – 211 – MOUNTAIN SIDE • Reveal Maz Kanata on Speeder, she has the sword

Finn gives Maz the lightsaber. She did not steal it from Kylo Ren. FABRICATION!

EXT DAY – 232 – CASTLE – RUINS • Leia and C3PO arrive. Awkward meeting with Han Solo

Not sure why listed as awkward as Han and Leia have recently been described as “civil partners” by Empire magazine.

INT DAY – 243 – RESISTANCE BASE – MAP ROOM • Statura briefs the Resistance on the Starkiller Base.

INT DAY – 247 – RESISTANCE BASE – MAP ROOM • Statura finishes, much debate. Leia reveals her secret weapon

It is Admiral Ackbar who briefs the Resistance on Starkiller Base so this is false as Statura died in the castle battle.

INT DAY – 257 – RESISTANCE BASE – MAP ROOM • Leia gives the go-ahead to go Hyperspeed

EXT NIGHT – 258 – OUTSIDE – X-WINGS • Wide shot of X-Wings going Hyperspeed.

No such thing as “hyperspeed.”

INT DAY – 260 – STARKILLER BASE – DUNGEON • Kylo Ren annoyed to find that Rey has left the party.

Rey never leaves the party, rather goes to change into her cocktail dress.

EXT NIGHT – 262 – OUTSIDE – MILLENNIUM FALCON • Millennium Falcon races Hyperspeed

Did they mean lightspeed? Probably.

EXT DAY – 272 – STARKILLER BASE – LANDSCAPE (SNOW) • Our friends hide from Patrol. Chewbacca says he’s cold

Chewbacca can’t speak.

INT DAY – 280 – RESISTANCE BASE – MAP ROOM • Triangle says they’ve waited long enough. Leia gives a go ahead

This is Ackbar again, not Tingle.

EXT NIGHT – 283 – OUTSIDE HIGH ABOVE THE STARKILLER BASE • Steamroller smashes it’s way past first Star Destroyer.

EXT NIGHT – 285 – OUTSIDE HIGH ABOVE THE STARKILLER BASE • Steamroller smashes past the second Star Destroyer.

INT DAY – 286 – RESISTANCE BASE – MAP ROOM • Cheers all around as the Steamroller does it’s job.

EXT NIGHT – 287 – OUTSIDE HIGH ABOVE THE STARKILLER BASE • Steamroller penetrates the Starkiller Base Shield.

INT DAY – 290 – RESISTANCE BASE – MAP • Happy as X-Wings enter. Leia pulls back Steamroller

EXT NIGHT – 291 – OUTSIDE HIGH ABOVE THE STARKILLER BASE • X-Wings approach Castle, Steamroller withdraws

No such thing as “Steamroller” must be referring to “Sledgehammer.”

EXT EVE – 293 – STARKILLER BASE – LANDING AREA (SNOW) • Rey and Finn jump onto a White Speeder. Stormtrooper spots them

They jump into a blue speeder.

INT NIGHT – 297 – X-WINGS – COCKPIT • Gorwyn sends out a warning, then gets hit.

EXT DAY – 298 – STARKILLER BASE – SURROUNDINGS • Plates as required for Gorwyn’s X-Wing going down.

Gorwyn lives.

EXT EVE – 301 – STARKILLER BASE – TELEGRAPH OFFICE (SNOW) • Finn breaks into the Telegraph Office

They don’t have telegraphs in Star Wars.

INT EVE – 319 – STARKILLER BASE – RAMPARTS • The conversation comes to a sudden end

Han dives off the bridge.

INT EVE – 321 – STARKILLER BASE – RAMPARTS • Chewbacca lets rip at Kylo Ren. Stormtroopers turn on Finn and Rey. They run

Chewbacca would never use flatulence as a weapon. I smell a FAKE!

EXT EVE – 327 – ENCHANTED FOREST NEAR STARKILLER BASE • Finn and Rey dance with Kylo Ren, Rey’s special.
There is no dance choreographer listed on IMDB for Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Faker than fake.

INT DAY – 330 – STARKILLER BASE – GREAT HALL • Hux has a final check-in with his boss.
With such a low adoption rate throughout the Star Wars universe, it is hard to believe Foursquare would be used by The First Order.

EXT NIGHT – 334 – ABOVE THE STARKILLER BASE • Starkiller Base needs a total remodel
HGTV called… they want their remodeling show back. FAKE!

EXT DAY – 335 – RESISTANCE BASE • Plates as required for Millennium Falcon triumphant return to Resistance Base
There are no plates aboard the Falcon. Hogwash.

INT DAY – 337 – RESISTANCE BASE – MAP ROOM • C3PO, R2-D2, and BB-8 solve the puzzle together.
How many droids does it take to solve a sudoku puzzle? Hint: not three. Fake.

EXT NIGHT – 342 – OUTSIDE – HEADING FOR MAGIC MOUNTAIN • Millennium Falcon heads for Magic Mountain

EXT DAY – 343 – MAGIC MOUNTAIN • Plates as required to established Magic Mountain

EXT DAY – 344 – MILLENNIUM FALCON – MAGIC MOUNTAIN • Chewbacca stays with the Millennium Falcon. Rey heads off.

EXT DAY – 345 – MILLENNIUM FALCON – MAGIC MOUNTAIN • Rey climbs the stone stopes toward the Ticket Booth

Why would Disney promote a rival theme park? Oh right, they wouldn’t. FAKE!

EXT DAY – 346 – MILLENNIUM FALCON – MAGIC MOUNTAIN • Rey finds Luke, gives back what belongs to him….

Absolute falsehood as there are no give-backsies in Star Wars canon, not even for “my baby girl.”