Ramblings of a Crazy Old Hermit – Day 159 (Part II)
When last we left our hero on Tatooine, Obi-Wan had exhausted all leads in finding the kidnapped Luke and Beru. Returning to his hut, his front door was rudely destroyed by everyone’s favorite bounty hunter. Read on after the jump!
TATOOINE – Day 159 (Part II):
As the dust and ringing in my ears began to dissipate, I could feel the blood running down my face from the splinters that were imbedded there.
“I’m betting that you didn’t realize I saw you at the Mos Eisley Cantina,” Boba Fett stated. He stood where my door had been, in Mandalorian armor that was too large for him. He looked like a little boy wearing his father’s suit.
“Was that you?” I managed a sarcastic smile. “All you clones look alike to me.”
“I’m going to enjoy bringing you in Kenobi.” He raised his arm.
Shaking off the explosion, I quipped, “Aren’t you a little short for a Bounty Hunter?”
With that he triggered the whipcord on his wrist gauntlet. As the metallic line flew at me I managed to use the Force to freeze it in midair and launch it back at him. It struck him in the head, knocking his large bobblehead-looking helmet to the ground. He stumbled back a few steps and tripped over it, falling on his ass.
As Boba Fett went down, I rose to my feet. “I see you’ve recycled Jango’s old tricks.”
“My father was a great man!” he whined. “If it wasn’t for all you Jedi, he’d still be alive!”
Boba sat in the sand directly outside my hut. He fumbled with his gauntlet, attempting to retract the cord that was quickly wrapping around him. I realized that this boy was more of a danger to himself than to me. So I took my time retrieving my lightsaber, and reveled in the opportunity to aggravate him further.
“Listen clone, he’s not your father, and if you had been more cooperative on Kamino instead of firing laser cannons at me, I would have taken him into custody and he might still be alive.”
“Screw you Jedi!” His pubescent voice cracked, as he became more entangled in his whipcord.
Deciding to take this mismatched fight outside, I left my hut and slowly made my way past the boy. Getting a closer look I became aware that he couldn’t have been any older than thirteen. A thick slick of oil drenched his face, along with a plethora of oozing pimples. Stray pubic-type hair could be seen sprouting out of his chin and upper lip. He was an awkward, klutzy mess and I was beginning to feel sorry for him.
I knelt beside him, placing my hand on his shoulder. I decided to influence his mind instead of killing his body. “Boba, bounty hunting is a dangerous job. You are not cut out for it. You will give it up and live a peaceful life. Appreciate that you were given this choice and not forced to become a clone trooper.”
I could see my Force enabled words working its magic on his weak mind. He raised his head and smiled at me. “If I had been a mindless clone trooper I would have succeeded where my brothers had failed.” The boy noticed my look of surprise, and continued, “I would have killed you, Kenobi!”
Boba Fett tapped his legs together and a projectile shot out of the side of his knee pad, hitting me in the neck. I fell backwards landing on one knee and feeling like a dang fool for underestimating this little shit. I pulled the piece of metal from my neck and immediately recognized it as a Kamino dart. It must have been a dud because I didn’t sense any toxins moving through my blood stream.
When I looked up Boba was standing, having finally untangled himself from his whipcord. In his crackly voice he informed me that Jedi mind tricks didn’t work on him. He said he couldn’t care less that the bounty stated I must be brought in alive, he was going to kill me regardless.
I chuckled and provokingly said, “Oh Clone, don’t lose your head.”
He shrieked like a Jawa being torn apart, and shot his flamethrower at me. I did a forward flip over him, just managing to escape the flame’s reach. Landing behind the boy I watched as he clumsily placed his helmet on his head and ran away from my hut. As he attempted to move quickly through the deep sand, the loose fitting helmet spun around on his head, blinding him. He ended up crashing into my vaporator and stumbled to the ground once again.
When Boba Fett (who behaved more like Jar Jar than a bounty hunter) removed his helmet the blade of my saber was just a few inches from his face. I informed him that since my mind trick didn’t work I would unfortunately have to kill him in order to protect my mission.
He sobbed, “Please don’t kill me, we have your woman and child.”
Now he had my full attention. “Who is this ‘we’?”
Boba sucked the snot back up into his nose and whimpered, “Jabba the Hutt, of course.”
Tune in next week for the continuing saga of Old Ben Kenobi. For previous journal entries please visit Obi-Wan Kenobi: Ramblings of a Crazy Old Hermit
