Click Bait Quota Provides Star Wars Blog A New Hope
HOBOKEN, NEW JERSEY — Desperate times call for desperate measures as a slower-than-usual week for Star Wars leaks forces the hand of entrepreneur and StarWarsHappyFunTimes.tumblr.com Editor-in-Chief, Randy Pomobrahmowitz.
“Traffic is just not there. And I can’t really blame anyone but the content creators. They need to leak something on a regular basis for guys like me. Superfans who invest time and energy into potentially selling a branded sticker or two.”
Pomobrahmowitz, who regularly enjoyed traffic upwards of 15-20 page views a day is down to about 3 now, including himself. The aspiring multimedia magnate feels it may be time to do the unthinkable.
“I’m going to enforce a strict click bait quota for Star Wars Happy Fun Times. From here on out, we’re going full Buzzfeed with hints of Daily Mail.”
Planned changes for the self-professed “World’s Most Popular Star Wars Blog Based Out of Hoboken” include firing the fact checking department-of-one run by Pomobrahmowitz’ mother, tripling down on exclamation points, and flashing as much celebrity skin as possible.
“A blog’s gotta do what a blog’s gotta do,” said Pomobrahmowitz just as he published a dubious article about a lovechild between Finn and Kelly Tran’s character in Star Wars: Episode VIII.
Good luck Star Wars Happy Fun Times! For the record we gave you a click today. Here’s hoping for at least 4 or 5 clicks more.
