Mel Gibson Spotted on Skellig Michael, Possibly in Episode IX
Whoa! Huge news on the Star Wars saga front. While the interwebs were exploding yesterday thanks to the Rogue One trailer, our international spies were hard at work on a scoop regarding Episode IX. #priorities
FSW correspondent Waldo, his life partner Thadeus, and their dog walker Mary Sue were scouting the Irish isle of Skellig Michael in hopes of spotting some Star Wars activity. The trio didn’t find much at first — some odd looking stones, mounds of epic bird droppings. But after an arduous climb up the Jedi Steps area, the group made an unforgettable discovery. The face of God himself smiled down upon them. Waldo was speechless. Thadeus fell to his knees and began to cry. It was their dog walker, Mary Sue, that made sense of it all.
“OMG! Mel friggin’ Gibson!”
After a long pause, Waldo and Thadeus came to their senses. Somehow the Star Wars superfans had come face to face with Oscar-winning filmmaker Mel Gibson. The Mad Max star proceeded to give the trio an impromptu tour of the mountaintop. “He seemed pretty f%{#ing insane tbh,” said Mary Sue afterwards.
Here’s what Waldo and Thad managed to surmise from what Gibson’s rambled on about for a half hour. After the warm critical reception garnered by Hacksaw Ridge, Gibson’s first project since being banished from Hollywood for anti-semitic comments and alcoholism, he had his pick of future projects. Apparently, Star Wars was on the top of his list with a Viking historical film and the next Mad Max film trailing closely behind.
Disney’s Bob Iger and Lucasfilm honcho Kathleen Kennedy began talks with Gibson a few weeks ago. Waldo wasn’t able to pinpoint whether Mel would be directing or starring and directing Episode IX. As of now the announced director, Colin Trevorrow, hasnt exactly excited anyone outside the Trevorrow household. So it’s feasible Disney could replace him soon enough.
Here’s the really crazy part though: Gibson told Waldo he’d be playing Joruus C’baoth, the insane clone of a fallen Jedi Master introduced in Heir to the Empire by Timothy Zahn. One look at the beard Mel’s been sporting lately says it all. Luke may be meeting his match soon enough.
Thanks to Waldo, Thadeus and Mary Sue for the exclusive report. As always, keep it locked to FakingStarWars.net for even more absolutely bat-sith news from a galaxy far, far away. What do you think? Would Mel Gibson make a great Joruus? Who would you cast him as? Does he even deserve to be in a Star Wars film? Comment below. Silence is acceptance, so speak your piece.
-William “Willybobo” Bobo
