Snoke Asks Xi Jinping To Excuse Shoplifting By LiAngelo Ball
LiAngelo Ball is in hot water after he and two UCLA teammates were arrested for shoplifting in China. Fortunately, it still pays to have friends in high places. We’re told Ball, the brother of Los Angeles rookie Lonzo Ball, reached out to Big Baller Brand’s biggest name for help — Supreme Leader Snoke of The First Order. According to FSW spies, the 1,200-year old Force vampire quickly got on the horn to Chinese president Xi Jinping, and began pulling strings to help resolve the situation for Ball and his teammates. We’re told Jinping gave Leader Snoke his word that the players would be treated fairly and expeditiously as long as they returned the Louis Vuitton sunglasses they stole. In return, the 8-foot tall wealthiest alien in the galaxy promised Jinping he would refrain from obliterating China and turning it into several million nuclear basketball courts.
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