Obi-Wan Kenobi Unable to Purchase Custom Coca-Cola Bottles
DUNE SEA, TATOOINE—The Coca-Cola Company has made it possible for the galaxy’s denizens to order customized bottles of popular carbonated
Read More
Fake News
Natalie Portman Says Making “For The Better” Memes Is A Form Of Bullying
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA—The face that launched a million memes is happy about it, right? She’s happy about it, right? Apparently, no.
Read More
Rey Drops ‘Skywalker’ After Luke’s Sith Journals Discovered
TATOOINE—Construction on the all-new “Skywalker Jedi Academy” has been halted after a moisture farmer unearthed controversial paraphernalia kept by the
Read More
Skywalker Family Spotted on Summer Break Trip
SCARIF–While people everywhere are having fun in the sun, our celebrity reporters caught a glimpse of members of the famed
Read More
Ironic: Order 66 Survivors Outnumber Fatalities As New Study Claims 11,000 Jedi Escaped Death And Will Find New Lives In Books, Cartoons, And TV Shows
Poor Darth Vader—A new study reveals Order 66 was actually a colossal failure, adding insult to injury for Palpatine and
Read More
David Spade Confirms Rey Is Basically Joe Dirt
Earlier today, comedian David Spade posted an Instagram Story that rocked both the Star Wars and Joe Dirt fandoms. With
Read More
Why Droid Manufacturers Are Trying To Cancel Rocky IV Director’s Cut
SERV-O-DROID HQ—In a joint statement from five leading droid manufacturers, the newly formed coalition has called for the cancellation of
Read More