J.J. Abrams Files For Creative Bankruptcy
SANTA MONICA, CA—Writer-director-producer J.J. Abrams has filed for creative bankruptcy due to a severe bout of writer’s block. In Chapter
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The Rise of Skywalker
Rey Drops ‘Skywalker’ After Luke’s Sith Journals Discovered
TATOOINE—Construction on the all-new “Skywalker Jedi Academy” has been halted after a moisture farmer unearthed controversial paraphernalia kept by the
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How The Big Twist In “Cruella” Is Stolen From “The Rise Of Skywalker”
Twitter is being cruel to Cruella de Vil despite her sympathetic backstory! Disney’s latest live-action film based on a cartoon
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EPCOT Censors ‘Klaud’ Wall To Be Less Of A Penis
One of the world’s most popular penis backdrops for Instagrammers has been cut for good. The ‘Klaud’ wall, a very
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Palpatine: Defunding Death Star 3 Will Lead To Slower, More Painful Deaths
Early this morning, the newly resurrected leader of The Final Order criticized the grassroots movement to defund his planet-killing weapon.
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Jedi Academy Opens At Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone
The Force is officially a member of Seattle’s new protest society. Early this morning, Jedi Master Luke Skywalker led a
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Palpatine Spotted At Travis Scott’s Fortnite Event
Fortnite’s collaboration with musician Travis Scott drew over 12.3 million players during its premiere — and among them was the
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