Kylo Becomes Fastest Growing Baby Name in the Galaxy
Move over, Liam — there’s a new king of baby names in town! According to prestigious news organization Daily Mail,
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The Force Awakens
Constable Zuvio Gets Expanded Role in The Last Jedi, Launching Concert Tour
San Francisco, CA — Lucasfilm has revealed that Constable Zuvio, a fan-favorite character from The Force Awakens, is returning for
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Mark Hamill and His Voice No Longer on Speaking Terms
OAKLAND, CA – After a harrowing ordeal of non-stop speaking engagements, Mark Hamill’s voice has emancipated itself and vowed to
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Research Suggests New Star Wars Films Give Girls Inferiority Complex
The Disney era of Star Wars may have been designed to empower girls around the world, but the mega corporation’s
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Kylo Ren Suffers Depression as Retail Apocalypse Forces Hot Topic Closures
FIRST ORDER HQ — The shutting down of 3,500+ retail stores throughout the United States of Earth has rocked The First
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Bad Robot to Produce Cinematic Goonieverse
After 30+ years, it seems fans of Richard Donner’s 1985 cult classic film The Goonies are finally getting their wish.
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Member Berry Shortage Forces Disney to Consider 100% New Star Wars Films
BURBANK, CA – Disney shareholders were informed this morning of a calamitous situation that may have dire consequences for the
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